That Time of Year: Well, let me start you out with the bad news: I'm back. Even worse, I'm back in a bad mood. Can there be a worse time of year than this, just after the holidays? That's one reason why I don't make New Year's resolutions -- imagine me trying to quit smoking while the bills roll in for rental cars, airfare, and various forms of fleeting fun.

Here's an example: I have an Ella Fitzgerald Christmas album I love to put on. She's so great that my days of complaining about Christmas music are over. I start listening to Ella around Halloween. (The only other Christmas music that does not send me into psychotic rage, not counting Handel's Messiah, is Leon Redbone's Christmas Island.) Anyhow, we had lots of visitors and did a fair bit of traveling this fall. Christmas came around, I flew off with the family, and I realized that I had not once this season listened to Ella. It's a bit like realizing you've forgotten to breathe. I finally got to it this morning, hoping . . . better late than never, maybe? No, it was awful. Might as well have been Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Ah, screw it. I've got the Ramones in the car for the ride home. Happy 2004, pinheads!