The 10th Candidate: I was home yesterday afternoon looking after one of the little Razors who had taken ill. I was perusing C-Span, as is my wont, and came across a press-sponsored debate, well, really a Q&A. And there was this guy standing up there answering questions, with a bizarre windblown combover and a strange suit that buttoned nearly to his collar bone. I figured he must be a talking head for one of the campaigns as the candidate himself couldn't make it to the little event. Plus, the guy really couldn't talk to save his life, so maybe even a low-level guy trying to explain his candidate's position.

The I saw he was actually a candidate, himself. Name: Fern Penna. Based on his inflection and apparent accent, I figured he was some immigrant who was trying to get around the Constitution requiring the President to be a natural-born U.S. citizen. Turns out he's just from Long Island.

I actually took 10 minutes to listen to him. I have no idea what he stands for. Still, I think Sharpton is worried.

MORE: I read in more detail his issue statements. Here's all you need to know; on the environment: to reduce our dependency on oil, he would ask the oil companies to develop alternative sources of energy, like fuel cells for cars. To combat forest fires, he would create a chessboard grid over all the forests, and then install giant water towers in each square to be used like a "giant fire hydrant". The logging companies would fund 80% of the cost of constructing them. I'm not sure, but I think he wants N. Korea to fund S. Korea's army too.