Curse my parents!: Don't get me wrong, they're lovely people and I owe them much, however they failed to imbue me with the ability to run the 40 in 4.3, leap 4 feet vertically, and bench press 225lbs like 20 times -- all before breakfast. Had they, then I assure you my senior year in high school would have gone much, much differently. I'd be hitting the lobster tail big time.