FauxPolitik

Friday, January 23, 2004

Lieberman: I don't know, Razor. There's something about the phenomenon of a devout Jew as a candidate that appears to bend the fabric of space-time, violating all natural rules. Lieberman is, flat-out, the most qualified candidate . . . on paper. (His only competition is Kerry, who has the bonus of being a vet, but the drawback of being a tepid, effete, boring, pedantic, opportunistic northeastern liberal schmuck. Don't underestimate how much that will hurt him in the general election.) It appears, though, that Lieberman couldn't draw a crowd with one of Dean's primal screams. Honestly, I don't think the country is ready to elect a Jewish president. Or a Roman Catholic, for that matter. I don't understand why, but I think it's true. Remember, it's only within the past half-century that Catholic was elected president; it was enormously controversial and only happened once. If I had to guess, I'd say that no matter how religious Americans are, we like our political leaders to be spiritually vanilla. Sure, talk about god, but don't tell us which one! And don't be sectarian at all, particularly from a sect that might indicate some sort of ethnicity. Be one of those whitebread quasi-Christians that say "God bless you" when someone sneezes but don't go marching off to church at the drop of a hat (think Reagan, or Bush the Elder).

The only exception I can see to this, aside from Kennedy, is Richard Nixon, who was by upbrining a Quaker. And I have it on good authority from the Vietnamese, Laotians, and Cambodians that Nixon was not exactly a devout and practicing Quaker.

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