Kerry/Kerrey: This is John Kerry, the blowhard senator from Massachusetts running for president, the one who looks like he should have bolts in his neck for applying electric charge. He did go to Vietnam, though vets I know are wary of him.

This is Bob Kerrey, the former Nebraska senator who may or may not run for president someday because he may or may not have committed atrocities in Vietnam. (He is currently the president of a school that may or may not be an actual university but plays one on TV.)

Now, try not to get us sued.