But Cats Don't Shop: Meow Mix presents Cat TV, on the Oxygen Channel, which I guess is Lifetime for short-attention span women. (Maybe you haven't come such a long way ... baby.) No doubt sponsors like Meow Mix are into this show because of the high discretionary income in cat households. Meow Mix spokesman Ira Cohen says of the target audience: "The mission of the Meow Mix Co. is to keep cats happy, so we developed this program for cats and the people they tolerate." Translation: We're going to sell loads of stupid crap to women with multiple cats.

Listen to the truth, ladies: If this show is a success, you should never get into Augusta.