FauxPolitik

Friday, September 10, 2004

Tennis...anyone?: In typical form of the last decade, the finals are nearly upon us, and we're left with also-rans (Henman), who-dats (Johannson), sure-to-tantalize-but-ultimately-fails (Hewitt), and one committed, proven champion who belongs (Federer). I think that whenever Roddick figures out how to be consistent, he should give the Williams sisters a call, who are clearly more interested in what they will wear over how they will play (paging Anna K, paging Anna K).

But I'm not hear to smear my opponents with negative innuendo, I'm hear to tear down the officiating with snide snarkyness. Why, oh why, can't the umpires get video replays? I mean, we let them overrule linesmen, who a) 99% of the time are much closer to the ball, and b) singly devoted to a portion of the court from which their eyes may never waver. Yet, we give ultimate veto power to guy in the chair who has to not only watch the entire court, but religiously keep score (except when the Wiliams girls play, and then the whole scoring thing is sort of optional). Time after time we see the nifty t.v. graphic which in a matter of seconds transforms a live shot into a digital reproduction, and even shows a nifty outline of where the ball landed so as to remove any doubt that it's the right call. I mean, it's a frigging computer, it cannot err (my comptuer tells me this is so)!

Anyway, it can't be that difficult or expensive (at least for the Slams) to give the guy or gal in the chair one of these screens and then all s/he has to do is pretend to look at the screen and nod condescendingly "Yes, it was in." This would certainly free up some brain power to do that difficult 4-point scoring routine.

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