FauxPolitik

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Checking In: I should be checking out. The issue du jour is what? Bush in the National Guard? That's so, like, last year. Are we really going to dredge this issue up again? Last time, for the record:

Bush: Ditched on Vietnam, but signed up to fly a pretty tough plane for the weekend warriors. Maybe went to some parties, did a little tootski, and missed a Saturday AM muster or two. Hell, he had transfered to the Guard in Alabama, man. I think even the NVA was probably level-headed enough to start somewhere other than 'Bama when (in the great pinko endgame) the tide of Communism swept the world. ("Communist tide, this heeyah the Crimson Tide. Y'all shake hayunds, an' less have a clean game, awright?")

Clinton: Ditched on Vietnam (and lied about it, repeatedly) but signed up, instead, for important Rhodes Scholar duty. Peeked up a lot of miniskirts, smoked some pot (and tried to hedge about that one too).

Now, yes, I know we went over Clinton's draft dodgery extensively in '92. But it was pretty much a dead issue in '96 (and, as has been observed, in '96 Clinton ran against a bona fide war hero). Fair's fair, everybody. You couldn't nail Bush on skipping Vietnam last time, I say he gets a pass this time. Come up with something else.

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