FauxPolitik

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Lazy? Second thoughts kicking in about watching the debate. Only five Newkies in the fridge. That may not last through the first half-hour, depending on what wattage Bush has his smirk set to and how quickly Kerry can shove his entire self up his own ass. Can't I just read Tim Blair? After all, it's tomorrow in Australia, so the debate is over already. Wait, or is it yesterday down there? (Timmy, bring an umbrella tomorrow.) Never can remember.

To put a good sharp point on this, remember all the give and take we had some months back about wasted votes and third parties? Well, f*ck it, baby. My mind is made up. I'm going all out for Bush. Why? Because of where I live. (Eric will understand.) I want to see the faces of the liberal schmucks in my town on November 3rd, as they wake to the prospect of FOUR MORE YEARS! I'll grant you this, they'll be four years of governance by a Republican president who might as well be a Democrat. In that way, either Bush or Kerry is four years of entitlement nonreform. But at least I can spend those four years in a near-permanent state of schadenfreude.

I was at a party last weekend and happened to overhear a couple of mouthy liberals goofing about anti-Bush slogans and bumper stickers. One of them (the same guy that asked if there were "any dead animals" in the eggplant parm) had the patchy beard, pullover windbreaker, teva/mandals combo look that just belongs on a man who thinks of himself as a feminist -- the kind of guy who thinks he's a metrosexual, but has never lived anywhere more metropolitan that Amherst. The look on his face made me wish for a Bush-Cheney '04 t-shirt. And that's when I realized it. I do want Bush to win, and for purely selfish, mean-spirited reasons. I want Bush to win to see the whole feminist/abortionist/metrosexual/racialist/crunchy-enviro wing of the Dems quite literally sob into their fair-trade coffee.

There, I've said it.

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