Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Easterbrook Returns: His quality slipped when he left Slate for ESPN The Website, but he's back with a vengeance:
If the NFL turned into the NBA, there would be no plays on offense; 11 guys would just run around doing whatever they felt like, calling for the ball. Each person who actually got the ball would immediately throw a 60-yard pass, then turn to the officials to scream for a foul. Players would refuse to speak to each other, and cover their ears when coaches spoke. Players would put tattoos on their helmets. Fans would start leaving while the game was still on the line, as the home fans did Sunday night in the Meadowlands.
It's funny, it's snarky, and even the kind of poor sap who reads ESPN The Website regularly can understand it. Provided he sounds out, in Electric Company fashion, the big words.

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