What Marriage Is: I've followed the gay marriage debate between Sully and Stan Kurtz, and have criticized both for not looking at the issue objectively. Radley has wrapped it up nicely in his Fox column:

... activists on the left and right still want to invite the state deeper into our relationships. They’re both wrong. It’s time to get the state out of our relationships.

He's exactly right. Sullivan's push for "equal rights" and Kurtz's push for a marriage amendment, though they have different goals, both invite the government more fully into our private lives. To quote myself (which I love to do):

The real issue is, "What business is it of the government?" The government should act as a repository of records on marriage, nothing more. I'm not in favor of a gay marriage law, I'm in favor of the government staying the hell out of the whole enchilada.

The current "conservative" positions are statist positions tarted up as civil rights or defenses of instituion of marriage.