Into the breeches: As Mass. gets ready to rumble on gay marriage I was trying to envision, as objectively as I could, what life would be like as the institution of marriage was irrevocably changed forever, never to revert to its old ways, completely overhauled, irretrievably altered, inconceivably ... okay, you get the point.

So you're at McDonalds...hmm, better, a vegan cafe, sitting down to some organic chai, and in comes a cute lesbian couple, dressed in hemp. You notice matching rings, and presume, after all it is 2005, that they're married. You strike up a conversation, noting how lovely their henna designs are. They say, in unison, "thank you," and you quickly move to less mundane topics. "So," you ask, "how long have the two of you been married?" "Oh," one replies, "about two years now. We had a lovely ceremony down in Daytona...all our biker friends came." You smile as you note how obviously in love they are. Even their bickering reminds you of your third wife. You wonder how they can seem so calm in light of how they, and their kind, have torn the fabric of society asunder. What, with the plagues, the erupting volcanoes, and the rivers turning to blood. Anyway, they finish their spelt scones, bid a quick goodbye, and move on to the feminist bookstore nearby...cloven hoofs leaving a faint echo as they pass through the doorway; brimstone melding with the incense.