Kerry/Edwards: Not that this ticket will be devoid of easy caricature, even ridicule. Imagine the two of them onstage together: the tall, brooding, aloof patrician; the young, optimistic, fresh-faced sidekick. Why it's . . . Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward Dick Grayson! But when night spreads its inky cloak over the United States of Gotham, they don their masks and fight . . . er, not crime exactly, but certainly mean-spiritedness, talk radio, and stingy federally mandated benefits. In the underbelly of a GOP-dominated Washington, they fight side by side, known to tax cutters, supply siders, and neoconservatives as . . . Entitlementman and Dove!

Thwarting the evil plans of Cheney (known to his followers as Dr. Angina) to dispose of nuclear waste by declaring it a vegtetable and serving it in school lunches!

Breaking the will of the sinister Ashcroft (better known as the Wicked Vicar) who aims to single-handedly imprison and torture dancers, drinkers, smokers, fornicators, and infidels. He is armed with the Bible, a repertoire of ear-searing inspirational tunes (with harmony by Orrin Hatch), and his all-powerful Patriot Act (which he most wickedly stole from Entitlementman and Dove, who created it in their League of Senatorial Goodness for the purpose of instantly bringing, without prejudice or thought of political gain, justice to the world).

I want the movie rights.