FauxPolitik

Monday, October 31, 2005

Some Fairly Unrelated Halloween Thoughts: Urban Halloween is a sight to behold. Here are just a few of the unvarnished demographic observations from this rather mixed-ethnicity neighborhood.

Black people will trick or treat and almost any age. A white parent will almost never bring his or her own bag. Almost every black parent does. Some of them say it's for their baby at home. Please. Just admit you want some candy, all right?

Black high school girls are the funniest, becuase they don't say "Trick or treat!" They don't even ring the doorbell. They just stand on the step and beep their cell phones until you come out.

Hispanic mothers bring their sons and push them up the steps, saying, "Go on, baby, you do it." Hispanic fathers bring their little girls, all of whom are dressed as princesses, and hold their hands all the way. It's terribly sweet. You want a friend for life? Tell Julio his little princess looks beautiful. Even better: get your son to say it in Spanish.

Older kids will say thank you, but only as they leave, facing away. The little kids always look in your eye and say it, even if mom or dad has to prompt them.

Jewish homes rarely have chocolate. (This may have something to do with keeping kosher, but I suspect it's mainly revenge for Halloween being the most crypto-religious holiday.) They give out Smarties (predictable jokes are invited).

The Koreans across the street pretend that they don't notice what's going on, but they are clearly freaked out. The older ones anyway. They peer out occasionally, through the blinds, but everyone knows to avoid their houses. Sometimes I wonder if they have a bowl of sweet bean paste cookies, in case some little rugrats brave the darkened front steps.

At my house, I give out the standard Kit-Kat/Reese's assortment, while I nibble the chipotle chocolates. Washed down with port.

1 Comments:

  • In my neighborhood, the parents use the cover of darkness to conduct illicit affairs with the neighbors, have an excuse to drink in public, and cry...cry deep silent sobs behind their clown masks....

    By Blogger Razor, at 8:17 AM  

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