FauxPolitik

Friday, January 24, 2003

I Love This Story: Rummy dismissed France and Germany as "old Europe" for their determination to back down from any challenge. Here's my favorite bit though:
In an editorial, [German daily] Bild reminded Rumsfeld of his German roots and the French ideals of liberty, equality and fraternity which had so impressed the American statesman Thomas Jefferson.
So Rummy, because his ancestors were Germans, should go easy on Deutschland when they get all spineless? And what of these fabled French ideals? The ones, no doubt, that held sway for about 45 minutes somewhere back in the late 18th century, before giving way to terror, beheadings, a midget emperor, more monarchy, and a historical tendency to jump when the Germans say, no pun intended, "Frog." France long ago decided to whore herself to the half-baked dictators of the world in exchange for being thought of as a first-world country and a world power, since nobody else will pay her that honor. The seat on the security council is akin to the exception, handed out before a big tournament, to a has-been tennis player so as to not say too loudly that she can't run with the elk anymore. As for all the "support" that Germany will withhold, remember that these volks still don't have a proper military from the last time we had to take it away from them when they got a little puffed up about their influence in the world and let another short fella take charge. (What is it with these two countries and their dinky megalomaniacs?) This was, ahem, right after we took away La France's dangerous toys, too, since they weren't inclined to use them anymore and were about to give them to Germany.

So Europe can skip the lectures about responsibility, sovereignty, and the judicious use of force, thanks very much. The tune's getting old, and, frankly, anytime "old" Europe had any force to use, it wasn't particularly judicious, responsible, or respectful of sovereignty. Don't like the way we use force? Then don't call us when your small-time hoods like Milosevic start acting up and you haven't the guts (or, in fact, the muscle) to make him sit in the corner. God forbid we and the Brits didn't start up the Natomobile and come on over, the Cote d'Azur would be speaking Southern Slavic by now.

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