Friday, January 20, 2006

Jeff Goldstein, winner: of my unofficial "Longest Sentence I've Seen Today" contest.
After all, if Star Jones can overcome that desire to stuff her ignorant maw with
Godiva chocolate and entire Hickory Farms gift baskets, then surely the
Islamists—who want to kill all infidels, or else force them to submit to
dhimmitude and Sharia law; and George Bush, who just wants to act all Shaft-like
baaadaassss, like Bufurd Pusser with unmanned drones and helicopter gunships
instead of a big slab of hickory—can simply solve this whole “global war on
terror” [read: men not properly conditioned by the carefully-designed cultural
fixes for manly bluster and excessively violent acting out detailed by Christina
Hoff Sommers in her The War Against Boys] by slapping their war cocks on the
table, measuring the things, handing out a ribbon to the winner, and getting on
with the important business of 1) universalizing health care and curing breast
cancer (US); and 2) making sure women are properly covered and beaten for
stepping out of line (which includes being raped); religious apostates summarily
executed, and homosexuals crushed beneath giant stone walls.

It really wasn't even close, actually.


protein wisdom said...


Razor said...

Typical knee-jerk right wing response. Get back in your fundamentalist cave, cro-mag. We don't need your hate over here...

Flyer said...

Such anger, and all for want of a period.

Actually, I was quite impressed with said construction. But Eula Crane would have had a fit, and if ever there was a grammatical cage match I'd pay to see, Crane v. protein would be it.

enobarbus said...

I got 50 bucks on the short Jewish lady.