Monday, February 14, 2005

Paging Professor Fashion: Boy, I have been out of it. I totally missed this Razor post from last week decrying the prevalence of pleats in men's pants:
Why don't you just shove one of those Japanese hand-fans down my pants, and expand? That would look about just as silly as pants with these stupid sewn-in creases in them. What visually-impaired genius came up with them anyway? And try to buy pants without them. Sure, you CAN, but you have to waste so much time finding the pair that you want.
Before I unload, I'm sure I should ask Razor to clarify, since he's popped off about fashion before, only to have to backtrack. So, are we talking about dress pants? They're pleated so that they can be worn with a blazer without looking like some sort of 1970s sans-a-belt number. Khakis? Sorry, buddy, but flat-front khakis went out with penny loafers worn with white athletic socks.

As for your waist/inseam disparity, Razor, I suggest you consider bespoke tailoring to fit your odd shape. (When you gave your virile measurements to our audience, you didn't mention that you are a hunchback with a wooden leg. Slip your mind?)

Anyhow, there's nothing wrong with pleats on a man with a good figure. They serve a purpose -- allowing one to sit comfortably -- which is more than can be said for, say, cuffs, which somehow don't raise your blood pressure. (Furthermore, do you own pants with cuffs? Having cuffs without pleats is like having curled-up collar points -- a sure sign that you don't get it.)

Pleats were once found only in suit pants, where the material of one's jacket hid the pleating. One was secretly comfortable, like that judge you know who wears nothing but socks under his robe. Today, style has eased to allow more comfort in. I doubt your shirt plackets are starched to 2x4 hardness, nor are you likely to wear a waistcoat or a high collar -- or even your suit jacket all day.

Oh, one more thing. Do you dress right or left?

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