FauxPolitik

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Accessory to a crime? Get a makeover. I think our society is really just fundamentally flawed. No, not because we're obese, or drunk, or gay, or even addicted to carbs. It's because we all are absolutely sure we're deserving of celebrity, and that any misfortune, no matter how grave, is an appropriate launching point.

One of the latest is certainly the Scott Peterson trial, and the mistress-du-jour, Amber Frey. Some may remember when she was first outed when the case was relatively new. She was wan, with a bad dye job, and just well, normal. Now? She's got the $300 cut, dye and style job, the sleek black pantsuit, and handlers to drive her, escort her, and speak for her. WTF?! She's just someone who went on a few dates with the guy then started taping her phone calls once she learned he was married. She's an accidental tourist in the cable news cycle, yet she feels the need to evidently hire an image consultant so she doesn't look like white trash.

Some more fun examples: Paula Jones, before....then after.

Linda Tripp, before and after.

The best part is that once they're in the limelight, they can't possibly let go. They NEED the attention...more, they DESERVE it. Because, because...they happen to have been groped by someone, or they were friends with someone, or because the roulette wheel of life stopped on their number for all the wrong reasons, and not only are they not shying away from what should be abject embarassment, they're running headlong into the maelstrom. Of course, they'll ACT as if the media are a great intrusion on their otherwise happening life, but still, they'll deign to speak with you and 20 other talkshows - no outlet too small.

So, once you're known, you have to capitalize, right? Wouldn't want to let yourself whither away back into 9-to-5 trivialities like working and taking care of your children. Kato Kaelin would not approve.

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