FauxPolitik

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Upshot? Clearly it's that politics just got a lot more entertaining. Say what you want about two years of Democratic self-immolation, it was truly a snore. The bastards were violating every principle I hold dear and I couldn't set myself to reading the New York Times on a bet. About the only thing I cared about was, on my next trip to California, whether I would be buying my marijuana on some dingy corner in Santa Cruz, or at Walgreens (aisle 4, bottom shelf, next to the Pokemon cards).

Having the GOP working the levers of power for a couple years was at least entertaining because of their naive foreign policy ideas. It's like watching the suburban dad try to knock down the hornets' nest under the eave. Yes, the nest must come down; truly, the thing must be done. But dad's going to do it badly and get himself stung. You know what's about to happen, but you can't look away.

Train-wreck domestic policy rarely involves the kind of violence and danger afforded by train-wreck foreign policy. Nobody ever shot scrambling, chaotic, roof-of-the-embassy documentary footage of a session of the Council of Economic Advisors. The Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services medicaring at full chat is somewhat less than enthralling.

In fact, I don't think anyone would have paid attention to a goddamned thing the Dems did, except for the fact that nobody had a job to go to, so they stayed home and watched Scarborough and got mad.

Truth is, the recession was caused by bad economic policy quietly building up for decades, from Fannie Mae to deficit spending under both parties. Barack and his buddies happened to have their hand in the cookie jar when the American electorate walked into the kitchen for a beer, so they get the spanking this time.

But now we have divided government! Gridlock! Partisanship! These are the very ingredients of political entertainment. Remember, in the 90s, when Clinton made Gingrich leave Air Force One by the service exit, and Gingrich got so P.O.'d that he shut down the government and impeached the president? That's some A-1 entertainment!

So, here's what I'm hoping for for the next two years: First, investigations out the whing-whang. If a guy gets a federal dollar, I want it investigated for traces of kickbacks, logrolling, or other shenannigans. Politicians being led away in cuffs, baby. Second, impeachment. If Senator Whatshisface ever had lust in his heart, never mind a stiffy in his pants, I want hearings! I want subpoenas! That should put Matt Drudge back in whitewall tires.

Finally, I want personalities. I don't know much about the new House leadership, except that Flyer used to smoke Camels with Boehner back in the day (which makes the speaker-to-be a dude in my book). But could they please not be boring? Maybe not LBJ banging his man-junk on the table at conference meetings, sure, but something more than the political Sominex of late.

There. Now I'm happy.

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