FauxPolitik

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

So just the other day I was listening to a Coldplay CD while I drank a Red Bull when I thought, "Wow, when was the last time anybody blogged?" And what do you know, here come's Eno, getting his usual jump start on the retro trend. Well played, sir!

Explaining my equally long absence would be pointless, as I have no excuse better than apathy. And I can make no promises as to how often I'll post around the place, but I'm sure glad to see that my login still works (thanks Google!) and that Eno and Razor (if he can reconnect the memory circuits) still have some wisdom to impart. I'll do my best to contribute the occasional strained analogy and intellectual eye roll.

Since Eno asked about the meaning of today's group heave ho at the polls I'll give only the rationale for my visit. It's the bagel place next door. Now before you go all Chris Matthews on me and try to parse the implications of the Jewish vote from that statement, trust me, I just wanted a bagel. And the left turn arrow was green, so that sealed the deal. Once I was in there with the other three voters in my district who turn out in non-prez election years I tried to remember the names of all the asshats who had called me on the phone with recorded messages, looked for their names on the ballot, and pulled the opposite lever (metaphorically speaking - it's all touchy-screeny now). Except for the Libertarian running for Senate (one of two on the ballot - the 2nd is a real crackpot who runs for County Commish every 2 years and gets creamed) against an incumbent Republican and a Democrat that's for lower taxes on everybody that doesn't pay taxes. So I'm not only a crank, but a hypocrite to boot. I'm the worst person in the world!!!!

I don't know what it all means, but the American populace has the attention span of Lindsay Lohan after the 14th shot of Cabo. We don't have a clue what we want, but a cheeseburger would be freakin' awesome in the meantime (come to think of it, that sounds like our policy in Afghanistan). We'll elect enough Republicans today to grind the political process to a very non-screeching halt, since it barely moves anyway, because "Americans want to stop the partisan bickering and get things done!" First item on the agenda, undo everything from the last 2 years. Kay-dokey!

I'll tune in to MSNBC later, though, to see Olberman shoving pins in a Sharon Angle doll. Then it's time to start stocking the bunker for Decision '12!!!

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