Here We Go: Why did "Brokeback" lose? Must be the gay thing, right? Even though George Clooney already told us that Hollywood is so far ahead of you on the moral goodness curve that you can only hope to one day be that . . . um, good.

Plus, Hanks got the nod for "Philadelphia" years ago. And Swank got dykey in "Boys Don't Cry on the Side" or whatever and still took home the gold. So, please, no jive about those famously socially conservative members of the Academy slamming the closet door.