NFL Picks? Oye, como va, Tito! The Open isn't even finished yet! And I don't even have the teams straight from the last division reshuffle. Herewith some bits of wisdom from the guy not paying attention.
Pittsburgh: Don't even think about it. Last year was a fluke. Look for Big Ben to be a little less Terry Bradshaw, a little more Bubby Brister this year.
Legacy QBs: Manning's going to finally have that huge, breakout year they've always talked about. Problem is, Eli's going to have it. Peyton will be relaxing at home again in January.
T.O. Watch: Week 2, he brings explosives on the team flight to the first baway game. Spends next 11 games in Gitmo.
Big Bust: Anna Nicole Smith. And the Patriots will follow their MLB counterparts into a slump.
Won't Read This Anywhere Else Dept.: A well-known network football analyst, by week 6, uses the words "Arizona" and "Cinderella" in the same sentence.
For what it's worth, fellas. Now, tennis:
Took Eno Jr. to the tennis courts this afternoon to work on some basics. (He gets the standard kick serve, but he's still working on the American twist.) Actually, I'm glad to see him getting it over the net. When he gets a good hit he calls himself "Little Rafa." He was very sad to see Nadal lose, but he likes Roddick's chances. Can you believe that shit? If he didn't have my exact ears, I'd suspect the milkman.
I don't see any of them beating Federer this year.
For the ladies, I'd love to see Jelena pull off the upset. She's spitting out seeds like she's eating watermelon. And honestly, Sharapova's not an order of magnitude better than the pair of seeded Russians Jelena's already sent packing. Getting past Henin will be the harder match.
As for Mauresmo, I don't know. I'm the guy, after all, who thought she'd fold up like a cheap lawn chair at Wimby. I still think the right player can jangle her nerves pretty easily. Maybe Jelena's the one.