Thursday, May 12, 2005

Cacophonus Cancellation Censors Coolness, Baby: Stated otherwise, Dennis Miller is off the air.

Before I expound on the fallen greatness of Dennis Miller, let's pause for a second and ask the un-asked question: Why would anyone want a show on CNBC? Is there anything on that channel that could possibly be labeled as "appointment t.v."? Can you fall any lower than accepting a slot on that cable wasteland? Well, I guess getting canceled would be just a notch below that, but still. The old Dennis Miller not only would have laughed at the mere notion of hosting a show on that channel (had the channel existed back when), but he would have come up with a 10-minute riff on the idiocy of the concept; somehow relating the idea to a Kalahari bushman's mating dance.

So, what is up with the "new" Dennis Miller? I always thought Bill Mahrer was the unfunny version of DM, but now, sadly, it appears that Maher has the upper hand (he's on HBO for chrissakes!). Now, sure, there is a man for all seasons, and everything must turn, turn, turn, but how can someone stop being funny? I mean, it's not like you're a running back in the NFL, where you get, if you're incredibly lucky, 8-9 years of productivity (average is less than 3 yrs), because your leg injuries start to add up.

There isn't any funny muscle or ligament is there (no funnybone jokes, puh-leeze)? Maybe it started when he cut his hair...or grew the beard. Maybe it was when he tried to get acting gigs in Hollywood, and thus was co-opted by the System. I don't know, but even his stand-up gig is stale. I watched something he did for HBO recently, and it was just...sad. And it's not that he's become conservative, and therefore less funny. DM was always an equal-opportunity ball-buster, it's just when he rose to prominence he had Reagan, and then 41, to use as a foil. I don't think he would have been any less funny during the Clinton years, would those have constituted his prime.

Anyway, when the worst possible cable channel (and I mean this; I'd rather work on Spice [well, duh] or Animal Planet, than CNBC [not that anyone's calling]) decides you're not relevant enough, it's time to put on the blue blazer and hit the Blue Plate at the Friar's Club. I hear Youngman's got some killer one-liners.

No comments: