FauxPolitik

Friday, June 17, 2005

Holla: Thanks. Now on to your bete-noir: golf. First of all, why do the papers, websites and newscasters always breathlessly report who is on the lead after day 1? Or even day 2, for that matter? How often does someone go wire-to-wire in a golf tourney, much less a Major? Like, once a year, maybe? Really, it's enough.

Why so much whining about the organizers making holes tough to play? Doesn't it work to everyone's disadvantage? I mean, are we supposed to believe that gravity works differently for Tiger than the rest of them? Shut up, play, and collect your big check.

How does John Daly manage to win one surprising tournament a year, but the rest of the time flame out after the cut? It doesn't seem to compute. Perhaps that is why he remains so popular: he's the golfing everyman, as opposed to the robot (Tiger) or doofus (Mickelson). The rest are all foreign, so...

Why do people go to golf tournaments (other than to avoid work - which is a noble goal, but still)? You get to really only watch one hole. Or you can be a complete idiot and follow Tiger around along with 2,000 of your closest friends, screaming "Get in the hole!" after every putt, or just wild applause on every drive regardless of distance and accuracy.


I need answers here Flyer.

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